MYSELF AND I LOVE IT
That’s, you can rule because we’re not standing face to face. If we were out my talking
to you. I have always been wary of approaching
people that I do not know, whether it is out on a street or in a classroom. I have always
wondered why I have a problem opening up, while others I know can talk to strangers
as if they are lifelong friends. Also, when dealing with new people, I find myself
conforming to their views, a practise that I do not like.
When I was little, I would rely on my sister to meet other kids so that we could
play together. At that
time I was not aware of the dilemma I was creating for myself by believing that others
were responsible for my social interactions. With respect to my sister I became a free rider, even though my actions did not affect society as a whole. I would stand back and
watch as my sister approached other kids, she became my gateway to new friends.
Once we started playing tag or catch I might begin to open up, but I was never as
outgoing as my sister. She wanted everyone to do as she said, while I was always a follower.
This childhood problem has followed me throughout my life and has affected my
anticipatory socialisation's.
Today I have trouble establishing new relationships with others because I expect others to open the way. But I can no longer rely on my sister to talk to my classmates or the people who live down the hall. And I can also not expect others to approach me to begin a conversation, for they may also be shy themselves. I am thereby forced to begin
the introduction act myself, a process that is so difficult for me to begin with. Presently I am a junior in college and, of course, I have friends. I’ve allowed myself to open up to certain people. However, similar to Will in the movie Good Will Hunting, I am very selective about who those people are. Will was an intelligent person who chose not to maximise his potential by working simple jobs, such as in construction. Will went to jail as a result of
a fight, but was released under the supervision of a Harvard professor. In probation,
Will worked with the professor to solve complex math problems, but was also required
to undergo therapy. During the therapy sessions, Will refused to allow the
therapists to see his real self by joking and remaining silent. Eventually, Will related to
one therapist and became comfortable enough to discuss his life. Like Will, I require
time to become comfortable enough to share my life with someone. While I am
first getting to know someone, I will occasionally censor myself to avoid saying
something that I will regret. By censoring I mean that I will debate with myself whether
to express a thought or simply let it remain as a thought. However, I find that I
even censor myself when talking to my best friends and to my family
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